Do you?

I thought maybe since last year was a crappy one and it was forgotten, i figure maybe this year will probably be better. I mean like there will be something to celebrate. Maybe you decide to do something since i knew you would rbr this time round. But is it true that there's really nth at all in the first place? there's nth being plan, like really nth? I mean does this mean anything to you at all? I can understand if its a monthsary thingy but really, i didn't expect that you wouldn't have anything in mind at all and that as much as you hate planning, its only a day and that is on the 10 of this month and thats it. Cause i never ask anything from you at all. I look forward to spending my birthday with you and that we could have a jolly good time with whatever you had in mind. But how to, when there's like no plan at all?

Does it mean that the 10th simply is nt important to you anymore? Does it mean that ITS JUST the 10th only? How should i be feeling right now? Because when you tell me you really had no plan, honestly i was like wtf seriously? 2 more days and you had nth in mind? And you know what, i still chose to believe that maybe, maybe there's smth that you hv plan in mind. I still chose to believe that. Idk...

I used to rbr at that time of the year when i waited for you at lot and when you came to meet me, you apologised profusely to me saying you didnt get for me anything and that you really am sorry for that. You bought me 2 delifrance fruit tarts which is to my liking, well at least i feel kinda touched about it because i can see how sincere you are and at the same time sad cause you cant celebrate my 10th well enough. I was happy, nevertheless.

I don't have much friends around whom i can hang out with. I mean even my family doesn't seem to be like celebrating my birthday.. well expect maybe celebrate it with my brother and eat out i guess. Maybe.. And maybe not. And the only friends i have are those who only wishes me on the 10th and done. They don't go out to celebrate my birthday with me and the only person who is always close and always with me is none other than you. And with that, i really look forward to spending the day with you since i can at least feel happy on the 10th. Something to be happy about for at least a day.

Because i don't want to feel like just another day again..

Sigh.