I must have admit that it really was the most very painful thing to have ever hear that coming out from yr mouth. It really pierced through my heart big time. Yes, big time. I've always dismiss these thoughts each time cause i figure that you're feeling angry and fucked up so thats why you said it to me like that. I just chose nt to believe that you really said that to me. I am really sad to hear that actually. Tears fall not because i want some sympathy from you but my heart totally sank. Totally sank that i want you to come closer but you're just drifting further away from me. I need to hold on to your hand, badly.

It may have been my fault all these while and always got you feel so fucked up abt everything and especially towards me. I'm not the bestest boyfriend ever but i've always said that i'll never stop trying. You know, when i really mentioned stuffs that im gonna do, i admit i do mean it. But i'm always the one having to screw it all. Yea sometimes i never uphold to my words and i forgot about it but when you start to tell me, i knew the whole thing of quarreling was stupid to actually begin and i really wish you know how remorseful i am at it. Its not to say that now i feel but the next time i wont. Im really trying hard to control my emotions and be very patience with everything but smetimes it just overshot and i instantly feel fucked up. Now i know this is the most stupidest thing to actually be feeling lah when i myself said that i'll take yr feelings in considerations FIRST. If angry, definitely all the not nice words come out right. But after a while, i know that i shouldnt have said anything bad while i was bursting in the first place. I know if i had been more patient this whole thing wouldnt have actually happened.

Well i may not be in any position at all to control how you feel and how you should be dealing stuffs with. And just like you said, doesnt mean im a boyfriend i can do anything to you. Its fine with me though but sometimes i wish i can tell you things which you might wanna take into account and listen to. Im not trying to force you to change or anything. If this is who you really are, then so be it. I'll accept it. I wont even wish to have to complain or anything again. I just want to see you happy with me around. I just want to be yr source of happiness one day cause i will want to hear you say someday that its nice to have me around with you..

Im sorry, to have cause all the unintentional hurt and heart pain. The only thing that i ask is to be close to you once more..